Why is expanding your social life important?
Work Friends Disappear
When we retire, it may have come as a surprise that we miss the daily interactions with our colleagues at work. If we didn’t socialise with them outside of your job, the daily chats by the photocopier or in the hallways had value. If we did socialise with them over lunch or get together on weekends, those interactions disappear. Suddenly we realise that they don’t reach out. They’re busy.
Friends In Addition To Family
Having strong social connections makes us happier and live longer. It’s not just for all the good times: coffee dates, paddle boarding, going to events together. There’s also someone to call when we need a shoulder to cry on, or a ride to that appointment. There’s a community of people that support us, and that we support. This makes it easier for our children or family, because we don’t rely solely on them. It makes their lives less stressful to know that they’re not alone in caring for us.
Is There Time To Make Friends?
Family commitments looking after grandchildren and/or elderly parents can take up much of our week, and we might find that our social life is minimal. How do we find the time and build a social network as an adult?
Add Richness To Your Life
The temptation to avoid it and make do with nodding to strangers as we walk the dog, is high. These interactions are not deep and meaningful. We can’t call them up in the middle of the night if we have an emergency. Finding quality friendship takes intention. Finding people to have deep conversations with adds richness to our lives.
How we can work together
The Process
In bi-weekly, one on one sessions, you start by clarifying what an expanded social life looks like for you. It can be a big network, or a few close friends, or something else entirely. Then, you will have an opportunity to reflect on why this is meaningful for you.
You will identify your core values using a variety of activities that can be done on your own time. Being clear about your values enables you to find new friends with a similar outlook to you.
In sessions, we will explore all the options open to you and assess their pros and cons in terms of your life situation. This may involve memoir work that invites you to recall past friendships and social situations.
You will be provided with simple homework exercises to do that allow you to learn how to reach out, up your chatting game to build those deep conversations, and become a good listener that friends will value.
In our sessions, we will problem-solve, and identify any barriers that you come across as you take your first steps. These may involve time management or setting boundaries with your other commitments.
Along the way we will celebrate your successes. Maintaining a supportive friend group is a lifelong process and skill with wonderful rewards.
This process can take 2 – 3 months.
If this approach to expanding your social life sounds good to you, let’s chat. I’d love to work with you.
For up-to-date information on the session formats and fees, click here.
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Retired, And Now What? 