We did it ourselves. Those born in the 1960’s and 1970’s muddled through without the supports available now. We managed to take care of ourselves while our parents worked. We took ourselves places on our bikes, or on the bus, without the safety net of a cell phone to stay in touch. I hesitate to label a generation, but there are things that we had in common that have shaped us. We identify with being independent. It’s our default mode when faced with life’s challenges. We tend to value independence over support.*
We Muddled Through Independently
When I think of some of the life challenges that I’ve been met with so far, I’ve pushed through them independently with little knowledge or guidance. In a pre-internet world, finding community with others going through the same things didn’t happen. You chatted with friends and family about some stuff. But mostly, you just tried to figure it out by yourself. You would get snippets of information from magazines, newspapers and TV shows. There wasn’t the opportunity to ask questions and to dive deeply into the issue. Unless you knew someone personally, you didn’t hear from others going through the same things. It was isolating and there was a huge lack of personally relevant information that could have made life easier.
The Digital Age Brought Community and Support
Contrast that experience with what is available today for those born later. Now, most major life challenges are spoken about freely and supports are available. You can hear about others’ experiences with grief or peri-menopause or anxiety. You can access tips for successful interview practices and how to deal with a misogynistic boss. You can learn that you’re not alone in feeling over-whelmed as a working mom. Younger adults grew up knowing that this information was available and understood that it was acceptable to access it, and use it, and get support.**
Support Is There For Your Next Challenge
But, it’s not just for younger generations. That support and information is open to all of us. It may not have been around when I was adjusting to being a new parent, but it’s here for my next challenge: retiring at midlife.
Adjusting Values
How much I embrace the supports available to me in my next challenges, may depend on how much I value independence. Is doing everything for myself without help, something that’s important to me? Lately, I’ve been thinking it’s not.
Autonomy Or Independence
I’m wondering if personal autonomy, and not independence, is my north star. I value the autonomy of being able to make my own decisions and to have those wishes honoured. Doing everything for myself, independently, seems less enticing. Using the wealth of knowledge available, and a community of others to help me with future challenges is very appealing. Being alone in my struggles only adds to my suffering. Why would I do that if it’s not necessary?
How does independence impact your ability to navigate life challenges? Comment below.
*https://www.jeantwenge.com/generations-book-by-dr-jean-twenge/
** (I’m not saying that it’s all rosy and that the digital age hasn’t arrived with a whole host of other issues. That’s another topic for another day.)
Retired, And Now What? 