I’m a big believer in getting clear about your values* to help build the life that you want. It’s foundational. But, it’s often a step that we fly over in our eagerness to start new opportunities. I’ve found that flying over my values in an attempt to move more quickly onto the next step in life, just makes things more complicated in the end. For most of my life, this was how I functioned. Now that I’m aware of my values, they allow me to make decisions that feel right and align with the direction that I want to go.
It’s Easy To Lose Your Way
Not referring to your values is like not using a map. You drive off in a certain direction because you think that this might be the right road to take, only to find yourself trapped in an industrial estate dodging large delivery trucks. It’s travelling through life without a compass/GPS to guide you.
Values Helped Me Understand My Past
After I did the values work, it helped me to understand my past experiences. I learned why I’d been burned out before I retired from teaching. I had been guided by some of my values of compassion, growth, making a difference and community building, while teaching during the pandemic. I’d used those values outwardly in how I taught my students. However, after clarifying my values and reflecting on the situation, I realized something important. I hadn’t been applying these values to myself, and failing to do this was in conflict with my value of authenticity. I hadn’t shown compassion towards myself and I hadn’t respected my own needs for self-reflection and growth. This lead to burnout.
Values Guided My Decisions About My Future
Values work also helped me to move forward. It lead to my decision to become a life coach rather than pursue the other possibilities that I had in front of me at the time. After retiring in midlife, I had a variety of ideas about where I wanted to go next: author, tutor, motivational speaking, leadership, crochet designer, legacy projects, opening an Etsy shop… The list was quite long and they all seemed equally interesting. After clarifying my values and working with my coach, I understood which choice would be most fulfilling for me because it allowed me to respect all my values.
Values Continue To Keep Me Aligned
Now, I’m building a life coaching business to support others who are retired in midlife. This new path aligns with my values. I’m growing a community, online and in person, of like-minded folks. Coaching allows me to make a difference and support others by helping them build a meaningful next phase of life. In the decisions that I make for my business, I respect my own needs for rest and growth. This allows me to show up as my authentic self. It’s a new life that is sustainable without draining me. It’s energizing and fascinating and joyful. This is what I want for others.
Interested in clarifying your values?
This is one way to do it: https://opportunity.ucdavis.edu/sites/g/files/dgvnsk8876/files/inline-files/values-based-decision-making.pdf
*Values are morally neutral. No value is better than another one. They are what’s important to you personally. Often we adopt a set of values from our family of origin/culture and don’t question whether these values are the ones that we truly believe in. Values Work looks at the values that you honour in your life and the lives of others that you admire. It attempts to help you find values that are deeply meaningful to you.
Retired, And Now What? 
Me too!!!!🩷Sent from my iPhone
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