When you meet a child that you haven’t seen for a while, the first thing that most people do is exclaim how much they’ve matured. “You’re so tall now! I hardly recognize you.” Imagine doing that to your aunt at your next family gathering. “You’ve aged so much! I hardly recognized you.” Laughable, right? We choose to recognize the passage of time on children but not once we become grown-ups. And yet, we continue to grow and age as adults.
Participating In Endless Youth Myth
Refusing to allow ourselves to notice the passage of time on other adults and on ourselves, creates a mismatch in our minds. In my mind, a grown-up is complete and finished and therefore, should remain static. This is foolish, but it’s what the term implies. Time changes us all so slowly, that with a little effort, you can avoid noticing the effects. It’s polite to participate in this fantasy by telling others that they look so young (for their age).
Avoidance Creates Shock
The problem with avoidance is that it doesn’t stop aging from happening, but it does make reality harder to accept when it finally smacks you in the face. The first time the optometrist recommends trifocal lenses because your eyes have aged enough to need them, is a shock. “Who me? You must have mistaken me for my father.” The shock can turn to sadness, and grief.
Acceptance Without Shame*
Our bodies do not forget that we are aging even if we barrel along unaware. Maybe it’s time to make recognizing aging among adults acceptable? Not to shame or blame people for doing something they have no control over, but to help us all accept the process.
Forgive Your Body
Imagine along with cards congratulating the young on reaching their aging milestones, there were cards recognizing your first trifocals or new knee. Aging happens to all of us. Isn’t it time that we forgive ourselves for doing it?
*Click here for ways to feel joyful about aging.
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