“You are not alone.” This is one of the most powerful statements I’ve ever heard. Knowing that my experience and struggles are shared by others, brings us all into a community. We share the same challenges and therefore feel less isolated. We don’t even need to talk to each other. Just knowing that we exist is enough to relieve the pressure of a difficult situation.
Sharing Helps The Reader And Author
This is the power of memoirs and personal opinion articles. It’s a two-way street. Sharing your life story and struggles benefits the author and the reader. We see ourselves in what the author writes and even if we never talk about it to another person, we know we are not alone. There is relief in that knowledge. When I write about my retirement experiences, I know that there is nothing that I can be facing that others have not, and are not, facing as well. I am not alone.
Silence Breeds Isolation
However, when we sit quietly and don’t reach out to others with our struggles and challenges, we stop creating support for ourselves and for others. Silence creates loneliness and shame. We wonder why we never hear about others in similar situations. We start to suspect that this is a flaw in our personality.(see footnote)
Comments Can Be Positive?
This is where the power of the comments section on social media can be a positive tool. It takes courage to write supportive and affirming posts to a bunch of strangers on the internet. It’s difficult to be honest and own your struggles publicly. I really appreciate the bravery of others that reach out and say, “Me too.” For every supportive comment, I know there are many others who see themselves in the article but aren’t ready, or able, to comment. That supportive comment helped me and many others feel seen. Thank you. We are not alone.
Note: Creating a facade of being a totally put-together person (they don’t exist) when you are struggling with very challenging situations just adds to your mental load. It’s unnecessary. Be kind to yourself and reach out for support. Find others who share the same challenges and read about them.
If you are bravely considering joining a support group for a particular issue, disability or illness, this article from the Mayo Clinic has some useful questions to ask before joining a group. Click here.
Retired, And Now What? 