There have been times where I’ve written a lovely response to someone’s text, only to realize days later that I never pressed “send.” There were also times when I read a text or email as soon as it came in, got distracted and never replied to it. Communication with a smartphone is not as easy as it seems. Sure, people can reach me at any time, but I’ve struggled with a consistent response.
Reading “On The Fly”
Part of the problem is that I often open emails and read texts when I’m not in a position to respond immediately. I want to know what my friends and family are writing but I don’t think about whether it’s possible to reply at that time. In a checkout line, waiting for a few minutes it’s so tempting to look at the messages that come in. If a person sends several messages in a row, I feel an urgency to look at them. Bing, bing, bing.
The Need To Read Them
There is psychology behind my need to look at those messages right away.
“Getting messages from others makes us feel validated and important. It gives us a sense that we belong.”*
When I don’t respond immediately, because I’ve come to the front of the line and I’m paying for my purchases, I forget about the text and never respond to it. How embarrassing!
My Solutions
Using the “mark as unread” feature on my email has helped me to identify which emails I’ve read, but still need to respond to. As an “unread” email it will retain the notification dot. However, I didn’t know until I wrote this post, that I can also mark texts as unread. (On an iPhone, open messages, and swipe right next to a person’s name, it will mark the last text by that person as “unread.”) I will be using this feature on texts a lot. The other way I’m combatting my forgetfulness is to avoid opening texts and emails if I’m too busy to reply at that moment.
Communicate and Be Consistent
I’ve noticed that some of my friends and family have a consistent response pattern: some folks take an hour or two, and some take a couple of days. Some people have told me that they don’t keep their phone near them on the weekends. That’s good to know. I don’t take offence if their response time is normal for them and unless the message is urgent (that’s when we make a phone call), I don’t worry about it. Clearly communicating your texting preferences to your friends and family can avoid misunderstanding and confusion.
You have 2 Days
Keep in mind, there are general texting standards. According to USA Today’s etiquette experts, there is an appropriate amount of time for a text response.
“…the appropriate response time depends on what the text is about. Time-sensitive messages should be answered as soon as possible, while you have more time for non-urgent ones. But not that long.”**
After 48 hours, no response will appear rude.* Now you know.
*https://www.psychmechanics.com/psychology-of-not-responding-to-texts/
Retired, And Now What? 
I only receive text messages from two people; my wife and my mom. I’m apparently too different for everyone else to keep in touch. 😦
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Every time I read your blogs I feel you are speaking exclusively to me. I will stop in the middle of a sidewalk abd hold up crowds if I get an interesting text, read it and move on., often not answering .
Your ideas are great and I’ll try them
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