With all the busyness of the holiday season, making room for fun can get ignored. It’s ironic that a time when everyone is “supposed” to be enjoying themselves, that I’ve often felt overwhelmed and stressed.** It became a season of gritting my teeth and getting it done, for myself and for many women I know. It’s no wonder that I can see a fake smile on my face in photos from Christmas day.
How We Broke Free
That was then, and this is a new holiday season. To make room for fun, we’ve made some changes. An earnest conversation with our closest family, uncovered parts of the holidays with which they were stressed or uncomfortable. As a family, we decided what parts of the holidays we wanted to keep, and what we could release ourselves from. We chose to let go of celebrating a traditional Christmas. We decided that Winter Solstice was a better fit for us.*
Letting Go And Rebuilding
Letting go of Christmas, had a cascade effect. It rid us of much of the commercial trappings of Christmas. No Santa, meant no stockings to fill. Decorations were simplified. Yes, we still have a tree decorated in white lights and a few simple ornaments. We spend the Solstice playing games, watching movies, giving each other a gift and going for walks after dark. We eat the food that we all enjoy most instead of making “traditional dishes” just because that’s what you’re “supposed” to eat at the holidays. We have fun!
Last year was our first time trying this switch. We discovered an unexpected bonus of celebrating on a different day. When Christmas Day arrived, it was a gift of quiet and peace without any expectations. That was fun too!
Changes To Consider
I’ve heard of some useful changes that other people are making to create a holiday that’s fun for them. These include:
- giving the gift of presence rather than giving presents to adults (this takes several years to establish because it’s such a habit with all of us)
- ordering in their holiday meal (there’s no rule that you have to cook the meal yourself)
- choosing what day works best for you to have family over for dinner, instead of forcing yourself to do it on Christmas Day
Saying No To Added Pressure
A woman I spoke with recently, said she was working a full day on Christmas Eve and decided that preparing a meal for her family for the next day was just not possible. “I deserve some time to relax and enjoy the holiday.” She chose a different day to have guests.
It’s Ok For Changes To Evolve Gradually
It can take time for others, and for yourself, to get used to your new way of doing the holidays. It will feel different and it may even feel uncomfortable. Remembering that it’s not your responsibility to create everyone’s “holiday magic” can be helpful.**
We made the change last year and I was worried about how extended family and friends would react, but they were accepting. Last year, I wondered if we would miss the stockings and the Santa element, but we didn’t. The season was surprisingly more peaceful and enjoyable than I expected. This year, I’ve been more relaxed in the lead up to the holidays, then I can remember being for decades. That’s a true gift!
Wishing everyone who celebrates at this time of year, a holiday that feeds you and is filled with fun.
What adjustments have you made to your holidays to add more fun and less pressure to the season? Comment below.
*How you celebrate, or don’t celebrate, is your decision. You have the power to decide. Consider that when you are less stressed you’re making the holiday less stressful for your family too.
** See article Reducing Holiday Pressure
Retired, And Now What? 
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