When I think of the events that I’d like to attend now that I have the time to, there is one common barrier: safe travels. If an event is during the day, I happily travel alone by transit, walk or drive. But if it’s after dark, I hesitate. A lot.
I didn’t really notice this problem until recently. Two things have allowed me to avoid dealing with this until now. One, I was working and rarely had the energy to go out in the evenings. I was making dinner, prepping for the next day, and just generally exhausted. Two, when I did go to a concert or a show I joined friends and we travelled together, or I’d go with my husband. Now, I have the opportunity to attend more evening events. This is new territory.
The Wake-Up
Last year, a comedian that I love came to town and I didn’t attend the show. I couldn’t find anyone else who was interested in attending and that would mean I’d have to travel solo. I didn’t even consider that as a possibility, and I regret it every time that comedian pops into my Instagram feed.
Inspired By A Friend’s Travels
My fear of traveling solo at night has resulted in me declining concerts, readings, and get-togethers that I would have loved to have attended. It makes me annoyed that I’ve scared myself into staying home, and furious that men don’t have these worries. So, after watching a dear, female friend make a decision to travel solo to live in the UK for the next 3 months, I made the decision to try to figure out how to travel safely at night in my own city, and stop limiting my opportunities.
Hesitant Start
It took me a few months to get started. Eventually, I purchased a ticket for an author event downtown that I really wanted to go to. It was a long process. I’d kept the tab open over the summer and checked how fast the tickets were selling. I must have looked at the ticket page a dozen times. It consumed a huge amount of my time, thinking of my traveling options and trying to find the safest route.
In the end, a few things helped me to buy a ticket and go. I realized that because it would still be light when I arrived, I could easily see where the entrance to the subway was, and how to get there from the venue. I also arranged for someone to pick me up at a subway station so that I could avoid the bus ride and walk from the bus stop to home. My planning worked and I really enjoyed attending the event by myself. It was liberating!
Keeping The Momentum
For my next event, the planning is more complicated because I will have to travel completely by myself without a subway station pick up. That very nearly caused me to decline going. But, unlike the author event, there was a deadline for responding. I couldn’t wait for months to build up my courage. I accepted the invitation and now I’m tied in knots trying to figure out how to travel safely. Ugh! I think it might be time to figure out the taxi app.
New Stuff Is Hard Until It’s Not New
I’ve found that the more often I choose to travel solo at night, the easier it becomes to make the travel choices that work for each situation, and the more normal it feels to me. I don’t automatically decline invitations for evening events, and I’m actively looking for concerts and shows that I’d enjoy. I’m no longer limited to the events that others want to attend just because I’m afraid to travel without them. Now, I’m excited to see all my favourite comedians in the future.
How does traveling alone at night impact your decision to attend different events? What solutions have you found? Comment below.
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