It can be embarrassing. I’ve been standing at the counter paying for a book and suddenly I’m sharing all about why I love this book and what this author means to me. The salesperson usually smiles politely as they hand me my receipt and I walk away sheepishly, realizing I’ve overshared…again.
Self-Awareness
I was lucky to have a close family member point out my tendency to overshare when I get a little nervous. I hadn’t realized that I was doing it. I thought I was engaging in cheerful banter, but I was actually trying to fill an awkward silence.
What Is Oversharing?
Oversharing is defined as, “when you say more than is appropriate in a given situation or to a specific person.” It’s not that what you’re saying is inappropriate, it’s when you’re doing it, why you do it and to whom you’re communicating that’s the issue.*
The Bartender And Barber
The show Cheers illustrated one situation when many folks ramble on: the bar or pub. People tend to overshare in situations where they are in close proximity to a stranger. It’s well known that barbers, hairstylists, taxi drivers, nail techs and bartenders are privy to a lot of customers’ personal stories. Working in close quarters with the customer/client gives them a false sense of familiarity and starts the oversharing.
How To Curb Your Oversharing:
- Stop and ask a question of the other person. This interrupts your rambling.
- Slow down. Breathe. You don’t need to fill in all the empty space with words.
- Identify what situations trigger your oversharing and try to plan what you will say or do instead. (for more tips click here for a useful article)
How To React To Others Oversharing:
- Change the topic of conversation and hopefully they’ll take the hint.
- If you tried changing the topic, then be more direct and tell them you’re uncomfortable with knowing so much about them. (I think putting this as gently and light-heartedly as possible would be kind. “Let’s save some details for when we’ve known each other longer.”)
- Really, really try hard not to make them feel better by reciprocating with your own overshare.**
TMI
Forgive yourself the next time that you realize that you’ve overshared. Sharing too much information is such a common behaviour that it has its own abbreviation: TMI (too much information). We all do it.
Do you have any tips that work for you when you overshare, or are hearing an oversharing moment? Comment below.
*Read more at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/stop-oversharing/
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