Rituals Are There To Support You 

I need opportunities to be present in my life, to slow down, and savour the moment. Over the last year, I did this by adding more significance to my morning habit of making a matcha latte.

I use my favourite white mug with the violet interior. After carefully mixing the vibrant green matcha powder with some sugar, and then whisking in the hot soyamilk, I carry it to the kitchen door. Then, I stand outside looking at the trees. I slowly drink while scanning the garden for all the animals that I can see (cardinals, robins, squirrels, chickadees). I take the measure of the day: the temperature, the wind and the clouds in the sky. It’s a ritual that takes only 3 or 4 minutes, but it sets up my morning on a positive note and connects me with nature. 

Rituals Are More Than Weddings And Funerals

A ritual is a practice that you follow that has extra meaning or significance to you. Unlike a habit that’s usually done without much thought (automatically), a ritual is done mindfully with your full attention. I used to think that rituals were only large, complex, and time-consuming activities that wouldn’t fit into my daily life. When I thought of rituals, weddings, birthdays, retirements, and other life-changing events, came to mind. These rituals are big, involve a community, and take time and planning. But rituals can also be smaller activities that involve a few people, or only yourself.

Not Another Addition To The To-Do List

There’s been a lot written lately about the value of using ritual to add more meaning to our lives. Last year, I attended a webinar by Michael Bungay Stanier (author of The Coaching Habit) and became intrigued by the idea, but I knew I had a challenge to overcome initially. I have a tendency to add new things into my life without making space for them first. This results in me overwhelming my schedule and ignoring the things that need to get done, in favour of the new, interesting thing. How could I add a ritual into my life without just adding it to my to-do list?

Find A Habit To Transform Into A Ritual

I discovered that by simply making a routine action mindful, it’s possible to add rituals to your life. It may be something as simple as pausing to say some positive words to yourself in the mirror when you’re getting ready in the morning, or folding your clothes a certain way when you pack for a trip. Adding ritual to your morning or bedtime routine is the easiest place to include it, because during the day you may be too busy to remember. According to Stanier, rituals fit best into beginnings (mornings, greetings, new seasons of life), moments of transition (retiring, a trip), and endings (bedtimes, leaving, letting go). 

Rituals Help Us Cope

The ritual is there to support you, according to Professor Michael Norton’s, The Ritual Effect.

“Remarkably, rituals seem to work by helping us exactly wherever we need help most.  From alleviating performance anxiety to fostering deeper relationships, savoring a meal to coping with grief, his research shows that rituals produce a truly astonishing array of psychological and emotional responses that are specific to—and often specifically helpful for—whatever challenge we face.”**

My “matcha in the backyard” supports me by bringing a much-needed presence to my morning. Over the years while I was teaching, I found it increasingly stressful trying to get myself and my family out the door on time each morning, with all our stuff. After retiring, making breakfast still triggered mild anxiety. My new ritual helps to counteract years of morning panics. It helps me begin the day more emotionally grounded than I would have been otherwise. 

Turning a daily habit into a ritual provided me with the support I needed in the mornings. What habit could you turn into a supportive ritual?

Comment below about the rituals that you’ve created or hope to create. Let’s create a list of possibilities for ourselves.

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**https://www.alumni.hbs.edu/stories/Pages/story-bulletin.aspx?num=719