Everyday I walk into a room with spaces where pictures once lined the walls, a bookcase full of books that are not for me, and a closet of forgotten clothes and childhood memories. My cat has taken over a corner of the space with her litter box and cat tree, but the room still feels like an abandoned shell.
It’s About Letting Go
When adult children move out, it’s a huge emotional shift for everyone. Instead of having your child popping back home for holidays, and on reading week, they’re gone. For a while (a good long while), I didn’t touch anything in the room just in case they’d be moving back again. It could happen, right? It happened after university.
It took us all a full year to adapt to the fact that they had flown the nest for good. Now, that I think we’ve all accepted that, what do I do with their room? I want it to feel like a loved and cared for part of the house, … but there’s stuff.
Lots Of Stuff
When adult children move out they take all their essential stuff but leave a good deal of other stuff behind. As with most young people, their place is not big enough to have storage for all their things. If I’m being realistic, it may be a very long time until they have extra room for it. I know that I stored stuff with my parents for many years. I can remember my Mom telling me to go through the last box of boardgames when she was moving into a retirement home!
The Generational Gift
One thing that parents often have more of than their kids, is physical living space. Allowing them to use some of it is a way to help them.
Some things to consider and come to an agreement with your kids about:
- how much stuff are you willing to accommodate?
- how long will you store it?
- where will you store it?
- who organizes it?
A Space For You
Once the questions about their stuff are taken care of, the next decision is what to use the room for. Consider whether you have a dedicated space in your home that’s just for you. That may be a consideration, especially if you and your partner are retired from full-time work, or if you are both home a lot. It can be helpful to have a place to retreat to that is only for you. It’s a place where you can be creative without anyone else looking over your shoulder, AND you can close the door on the creative “mess” if you need to.
My Tiny First Step
While I’m still mulling over the question of what to use the room for, I think I’ll take a step forward and repaint it. A fresh start for me and the room. Then, I’ll see where that leads me.
If you’ve had adult children move out, what did you do with their room? Comment below, I’m looking for ideas.
Retired, And Now What? 
This is a terrific question, Caroline. Our daughters’ rooms are still pretty much as they left them. Our younger daughter just moved out and she took most of her stuff with her. Our older daughter has been gone for years and we still have a lot of her stuff here. I think a conversation is in order when she comes home at Christmas.
They both live out of province so we really could repurpose the space but haven’t bothered.
Hmm. Something to ponder.
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My daughter moved back home with her toddlers after leaving an abusive marriage. My son just got his first “real” job at the beginning of the year. I actually have more people in the house now than I did when my husband was alive.
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