Life Is Different Now

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Life will not be easier when you retire. There. I’ve said it. Despite what financial institutions might tell you in their ads about living a free and easy life, life isn’t easier. It’s different.

The Good Stuff

There are many, benefits. The flexibility to do things when you want to and not when your job permits is awesome! No more “Sunday scaries” as the freedom of the weekend comes to a close. Monday morning becomes a wonderful and peaceful time of the week! You can take an hour for a quiet breakfast, or spend time preparing a delicious lunch. You can catch a show on a weeknight comfortable in the knowledge that you’ll be able to sleep-in the next day. You no longer waste time fighting traffic to arrive at work, or to get home, and your gas bill drops significantly. You have more time to devote to the things and people that you love.

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What’s so bad about that?  It sounds magnificent and a prize worth reaching for, and it is.  But, it takes a lot of adjustment to feel comfortable in this new season of life. 

Some Of The Trickier Changes

Questions Of Identity

Life is so different that it feels disorienting for a long time.  You don’t have somewhere that you have to be every week. You have all these skills and all this experience that’s not being used anymore. It’s jarring the first time someone asks, “What do you do?” and you don’t have an easy answer. It takes time to figure this out, and in the meantime there’s a lot of mumbling and harkening back to, “I used to be a ______.”

Money Stresses

In all likelihood, you are managing with less money these days as you rely on your savings and/or a pension. You conserve money by not commuting to work, shopping for work clothes or buying as much take-out.  But, you also find yourself carefully considering your holiday choices, purchases for the home and your entertainment budget. You will find yourself using the resources of the public library much more often. 

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The Time Warp

It can feel boring, like you’re waffling around and meandering through the week because the speed of living is more steady and less rushed. If something doesn’t get finished today, there’s more time tomorrow. That’s a novel concept to get used to!

You can actually get less done in a day because there’s no defined schedule to anchor your activities. If it doesn’t matter whether you do the laundry today, or two days from now, you can suddenly find that you’re forgetting to do it entirely – until you run out of clean socks.

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Friendships Shuffle

It can also feel lonely without having your work colleagues around and spending more time at home than you’ve done since lockdown. It becomes your job to regularly reach out to friends and keep those connections fresh.  You lose some friends because they’re in a different stage of life than you are, and they can’t meet you for coffee on a Monday morning. They’re still working full time. But, you also might find yourself reconnecting with friends who retired before you did, precisely because you’re in the same stage of life now and can meet up on a weekday. 

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The New Life

You don’t know who you are anymore. You go to the library more often. You’re not sure what day you do laundry, and you’re often arranging to meet up with friends. Life is different now. But mostly, you have opportunities to grow. You have more control over what you do, where you go, and who you hang out with. This can be challenging, and not necessarily easier, but it is rewarding.

What is the most surprising thing about your life after retiring? Comment below.



Caroline@retiredandnowwhat.ca's avatar

By Caroline@retiredandnowwhat.ca

I'm a life coach discovering the opportunities and growth in midlife and beyond.

3 comments

  1. I remember the “Sunday scaries” well. Even worse were the “Sunday at the end of vacation scaries.”

    Many people are unprepared for the significance of the shift in their day-to-day life after retirement. That’s why the work we do as retirement coaches is so important. I truly wish more people would reflect on this before retiring, though. It would make the transition so much easier.

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    1. After a vacation, it was so much worse! Now the transition after a holiday, is gentler because I have time to adjust and there’s not the rush to be back on the treadmill, and back to dealing with all the work related stuff that accumulated while I was on holiday.

      Reflecting before retiring is a new concept. Folks are beginning to realize that it makes the transition so much smoother, if they can do it ahead of time. However, if they just don’t have the time to do it before retiring, there is support waiting for them as soon as they do have the time. Here we are!

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  2. Hobbies that I thought I would devote more time to haven’t happened, but I’ve also found new interests.

    Like everyone, we don’t have a perfect track record with decision-making, but one thing we got right was our financial planning for the future. We retired earlier than most of our friends. While most people were happy for us, I also noticed some odd behavior from others that seemed like jealousy. We heard comments like. “How can you already be retired? You’re lucky.” While I’m grateful to be on good financial terms, I find those comments a bit irritating. We started planning for retirement from our 2nd year onward.

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