Recently, a friend shared that she was astounded by her friend’s 50th birthday choice: a secret holiday. He took himself away from his family (wife and kids) for a 2 week holiday at a secret location that he didn’t share with, or talk to anyone about, before or after he went.* He wanted to travel without any of the pressure of meeting the needs of anyone else. He could do what he wanted, when he wanted. He also want to be free from others’ expectations and opinions. He didn’t want to hear from anyone about missing this key tourist spot, or that “essential” experience. In the age of everyone sharing holiday photos on social media, that shows a lot of restraint.
A Woman’s Secret Holiday
The idea of a Secret Holiday was revolutionary for my group of friends. It got us all thinking about where our Secret Holiday would be and how realistic this concept would be for women with partners and/or children. But, we can dream.
The Dream Locations
We decided that a Secret Holiday didn’t have to mean travelling far away, although it could. It should be a place that you can’t resist visiting or re-visiting. It might be a “bucket list” adventure, such as going on safari in Africa, or simply living for two weeks immersed in Montreal’s culture. Maybe, you’d be drawn by the warmth and solitude of an island in the Indian Ocean, or to the stark landscapes and geothermal pools of Iceland. Our choices were vastly different.
The Biggest Hurdles
For us, apart from figuring out how to pay for such a luxury as a Secret Holiday, the biggest hurdles were relational. Leaving behind a partner who loves to share holidays with you felt difficult. Part of the joy of travelling is sharing the experience. Also, figuring out how to make sure that the family was able to cope in your absence would take a lot of planning.
Your partner would need to be willing and able to add all your roles to what they already do. It would require total support from them. Presumably, while on your Secret Holiday, you don’t take calls from children needing emotional support, or help finding their favourite shirt? We could only imagine such freedom.
Also, a sibling, or dear friend, would need to be on-call if you usually support your ailing parent(s).
The Secret Holiday Payoff
A Secret Holiday is freedom to be just you – not someone’s partner or parent. It’s freedom to do what you want, in a place that you want to visit, without considering anyone else’s needs or wishes. The mental load freedom would be amazing!
I know at least one person has wondered about whether someone on a Secret Holiday, might use it for nefarious purposes. Let’s assume that they don’t. A Secret Holiday is a respite. It’s not an attempt to be someone else but a chance to just be yourself, living as a person in the world.
Where would you go on your Secret Holiday respite? Comment below.
*He shared his contact information with his wife in case of an emergency but swore her to secrecy.
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