My holiday spirit is slowly returning after an all-time low several years ago. I was resentful of all the obligations of the season. I was burnt out from teaching during a pandemic. I was numb.
It’s taken years of intentional changes to get here. But this December, I don’t feel panicked and overwhelmed for the first time in probably, decades. It feels calm and cozy: two words I would never have dreamed of associating with the holidays!
The Changes Came Slowly
Retiring from teaching, was the first big change. Not having the relentless stream of work responsibilities and the pressure to get it all done, allowed me to take time to recover. I built back my health with time to walk, exercise, eat healthy, and sleep without a jarring alarm clock. It gave me time to cultivate my ability to listen to my own body and develop more resilience and calm.
The Holidays Are A Choice
Next, came our family’s readjustment of the holidays. It started during the pandemic when old patterns were interrupted by quarantines, and we saw different ways of doing things. It was a huge epiphany when we realized that we have the power to create the type of holidays that we want to participate in! You can choose?! We matched the holiday with values that are important to us these days: connecting to the natural world, time together, and as little stress as possible.
Our Choice
To simplify things, we chose the Winter Solstice as our celebration.* This allowed us to say goodbye to many of the trappings of a secular Christmas that just added to the stress. No more buying stocking stuffers, racing around the stores, or having the perfect Christmas dinner.
We celebrate on a different day, the 21st. This allows for family members to spend Christmas day with the other side of the family, no hard feelings. There’s no pressure to drive around and see everyone on a single day.
Keeping It Simple
Our Solstice celebration is a family walk, board games, a few gifts and a hearty soup or chili. The decorations include a yule tree and lots of candles. It’s perfect for us: simple, easy and not performative. We connect with nature and have time to enjoy being together.
Time And Energy To Connect
Now with the noise of Christmas turned off in our home, I have more time and energy. I visit friends for coffee or lunch. I curl up with a book and some tea in the afternoon. Because there aren’t a million “to-dos” spinning around in my brain, I have time to connect with friends and relatives over emails, or on the phone. I relish walking west in the snow and appreciating the afternoon sun on my face. There’s more true connection with the natural cycle of the seasons, with others and with myself. That’s deeply gratifying.
I try to KISS** the holiday: Keep It Super Simple. The payoff is that I’m actually enjoying the season again for the first time since I was a child. My holiday spirit is back!
If you celebrate a holiday at this time of year, what adjustments have you made to it over the years, and how has that impacted your feelings about this season? Comment below.
**The old acronym was developed by a US aircraft engineer in the 1960’s to encourage their designers to not over-complicate things and stood for Keep It Simple Stupid: KISS .
Retired, And Now What? 
What a lovely tradition you’ve created, Caroline!For close to twenty years now, our family has given each other the gift of not having to shop for Christmas gifts for the adults. We used to buy gifts for the little people – now we give experiences. Time together, a good but unfussy meal, and a walk in the woods are now the hallmarks of our holidays.
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I love the re-frame of giving the gift of not having to shop for a gift! The shared experiences create special memories for everyone. It sounds like a nourishing and fun tradition.
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I think the pandemic woke all of us up to the idea that simpler holidays are possible.
With both of our daughters living out of province, we are just looking forward to having them both home. And I’m praying for no snow on the 23rd and 24th to disrupt their travels. We’ve also scaled back our gift buying because they won’t want to pay to check a bag full of Christmas presents on the return journey. Instead, we paid for their flights home.
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After having your kids leave the nest, getting to see them and spend time with them over the holidays really is the gift. Fingers crossed for clear weather and easy travels for everyone.
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