As I continue to develop my path after retiring in midlife, I was surprised to catch myself falling into an all too familiar pitfall. I’d seen it happen to others in my situation when they were trying to decide what their next steps should be. I’ve also seen others stay stuck in this place for years, and spend thousands of dollars on it. I know that it’s particularly enticing to folks like me, who enjoy learning new things. Chatting with a colleague recently, I explained that I was at a crossroads and I wondered if taking another course would help. Then she wisely asked me, “What else do you need to learn to give yourself the permission to forge ahead?” That question brought me to a screeching halt at the edge of the pitfall.
Pitfalls Of Continuing Education
It’s a familiar picture. I’ve seen others in midlife delay their primary goals indefinitely with education. Telling themselves that after just one more course they’ll be ready to do the thing. This course will make me more qualified and get me further ahead when I start my business, or apply for that job. There is a comfort in taking courses. You know what is expected of you and there are no decisions to make. Some folks enjoy collecting degrees. But, there comes a point where an extra course or degree is not going to move you any closer to your goals.
Education that isn’t needed is just another way to procrastinate. It makes you feel like you’re progressing, doing something productive. It stops others from questioning what you’re up to because you’re taking a course. It also delays any decision-making. You don’t need to choose what you’re doing next until the course is over. Like staying in a warm bed instead of getting up and facing the day, it’s comfortable.
Beware The Marketing Sharks
One of the surprising things that happened to me when I became a life coach was the number of companies trying to get me to sign up for more courses. They swarmed around me the minute I declared myself open for business. Their manipulative marketing preys on newly-minted professionals making them feel unready and unsure. They know how easy it is to get people in that position to sign up for more qualifications and part with their money. When they promote their courses as the quick and easy solution to our problems, it’s hard to resist their relentless marketing. Taking another course, of course, only delays making the decisions and moving along.
What Are You Delaying?
In my case, I was putting off the hard stuff: making decisions, and doing more trial and error. This is the crux of all pathways and it’s tough to maintain my enthusiasm to persevere with it. But, I don’t want to get sidetracked by courses or by over-thinking. Therefore, after a limited amount of research and consideration, I will make a decision and try something. It’s the only way that I learn what works for me.
Newness Will Always Feel Uncomfortable
Deciding my next step always feels unsettling and daunting, and it always will. I’m learning to accept that. Although I have similarities to others who may have gone this way before, my situation is unique. I’m different, the time I’m travelling, and the place I’m in, are unique. There is only so much usefulness in studying others. Just like becoming a teacher, the courses are no match for actually getting in front of a class and teaching. I just have to get up and go do it.
Avoid The Pitfall And Forge Ahead
If you’re giving yourself permission to forge ahead on your own path, celebrate and acknowledge that! It takes the endurance and tenacity of a mountain climber. Annoyingly, trial and error is the way to learn what works for you. Like a new teacher in front of the class, I learned by making mistakes, and adjusted as I went, year after year until I found my groove. There are no quick fixes. So, I’m taking a deep breath, supporting others on their paths, and forging ahead on my new path. Keep climbing everyone!
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Retired, And Now What? 