Living in the “in between”

It’s an uncomfortable space to be in: the middle. With a career behind you and who-knows-what ahead, it is a place that feels lost and unsettling. Having retired from teaching over a year ago now, I’ve lived in this middle, liminal space. I thought it was a space to get through and get done with. It turned out to be quite different and more rewarding than I expected.

Takes Time To Adjust

At first, it took time to adjust to no longer being a teacher and having that label. I didn’t know who to stay I was anymore. My work identity was gone and I didn’t feel like acknowledging “retired” as my new label. I still had images of retired people being old and senior and I didn’t feel like that at all. (My ageism was showing.) The first 6 months were a time to grieve the loss of a job that I found rewarding and enjoyed for over 30 years. 

Time To Grieve

That’s a loss that takes time to adjust to. No more need of the lesson plans and links to teacher websites on my computer. Delete. No more need of teacher subscriptions to reading sites and science videos. Delete. All my YouTube subscriptions gradually shifted from work-related to interest-related. I started using my stockpile of craft supplies for my own artwork.

How do you thrive in a liminal* state?

It’s a place of uncertainty where your routine and sense of self are suddenly changed and don’t have a predictable form any more. That was scary and unsettling. However, I was able to explore areas that were of interest to me and start new projects. I had the time to do things that I’d never had the time to do before. It was a time of creative growth. I read a lot of books, journaled, wrote blog posts and listened to podcasts. I continued to exercise, take walks in nature and meditate from time to time.

Not A Permanent State

I knew that I wouldn’t be staying in this in-between state. I’d always viewed my first year of retirement as a sabbatical of sorts: a chance to renew and reset.

“If you rest in a liminal space too long, transitions can become a destination instead.”*

A Decision Move You On

But big changes, like retirement, need a decision to move you along to the next phase and out of the liminal state.** I’ve spent the last three months trying to decide. I wanted to take my time and find something that was meaningful and would align with my values. I didn’t want to rush this decision.  Part of the joy of this middle time is that you can take as much time as you need to make a decision. No one is pushing you ahead except you.  

Support Can Be Helpful

I recognized that having someone to support me with the process might be useful for me. With the help of a personal development coach, I found the right decision for me to move out of this in-between state. My coach helped me consider new areas that I wouldn’t have explored. Along the way, I learned how to sort and prioritize my goals and strengths. Now, I’m excited to start moving down my new career path.  Teaching is done and dusted. And that’s ok.

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*Liminal: a threshold or space that transitions from one place to another, such as a hallway between two rooms.

**For more tips on how to handle that in-between space, click here.